


Yellow Season

by Neko_ryn



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26019880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neko_ryn/pseuds/Neko_ryn
Summary: Minghao had never given much thought to the color yellow until Seokmin, and suddenly it was all he could see.
Relationships: Lee Seokmin | DK/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Yellow Season

**Author's Note:**

> My qpp and I decided to do this short writing challenge where we would write whatever we felt like writing while listening to music. This was inspired by Sleeping at Last's Two. It is a little bittersweet, but life is often like that. I hope you like it, and if you're struggling with mental health, don't hesitate to reach out. You can reach out to your loved ones or your therapist if you have one, but if not, I'm always willing to receive you with open arms.

It happened the day of Chan’s graduation. Seokmin and Minghao went to buy flowers for him, both as a gift and to embarrass him. They knew their other friends would bring more gifts as well, and that flowers would be popular, but Seokmin had insisted that there was no better gift than a beautiful bouquet for an important occasion. Minghao had agreed because he wasn’t sure what could be better.

They observed the flowers for a little while, and when Minghao was about to choose a simple rose bouquet, he turned around and saw Seokmin. He was crouching down, smiling wide as he admired the sunflowers. His eyes had turned into crescents and suddenly there was nothing else that Minghao could see other than Seokmin and the sunflowers.

He felt his heart squeeze painfully inside his chest. Minghao’s hand rested gently on his chest and he wrung up his coat, trying to calm himself down, to make it hurt less, but it didn’t work. It hurt inexplicably, and he wanted to cry, but somehow it wasn’t bad. Seokmin looked back at him with a sunflower in his hand and Minghao immediately dropped the idea of buying roses.

“Sunflowers?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Yeah,” Seokmin smiled softly, cheeks scrunching up and making Minghao’s heart swell again. “I really like yellow, you know? It’s the color of happiness.”

So Minghao bought the sunflowers, and Seokmin carried them happily to the graduation ceremony. Minghao observed patiently, wondering if maybe the sunflowers were magical and had put a spell on him. But, when Seokmin delivered the flowers to Lee Chan, all Minghao could see was still Seokmin.

* * *

A few months were enough to consolidate Minghao’s feelings. Since that day at the flower shop, it was like he had developed tunnel vision and his eyes could only focus on Seokmin now. Somehow, though, he didn’t mind it. He discovered in that time that Seokmin was the prettiest sight of all.

Seokmin was gentle like no one. They had a pretty big friend group, but he always made sure to include everyone, especially quiet Minghao. He would often grab Minghao’s wrist, wrapping his long delicate fingers around it, and bring him forward. He would put a bite of food in front of Minghao’s lips with his chopsticks, and he also had the habit of putting their foreheads together whenever he found Minghao doing something cute.

Of course, Minghao’s heart would always beat faster whenever Seokmin pulled him close like that, how could it not? Seokmin’s smile whenever he did so was blinding and beautiful, and Minghao’s heart liked to stop for a second before running its own little race. And despite the pain in his chest, Minghao would smile back and keep still until Seokmin was done thinking he was cute.

Seokmin was also endearing and clumsy. He looked at the world with the eyes of a young child, always marveled at every new discovery. Minghao had taken to learning all of the strangest facts so he could surprise Seokmin at every chance he got. He liked the way Seokmin’s mouth would open in a perfect circle before asking him if it was true, or asking him to elaborate. 

Minghao’s chest would swell with a mix of pride and painful love for him as he began retelling everything he had learned overnight just for the sake of making Seokmin’s world a little bigger. Minghao was pretty sure that Seokmin had noticed his intentions at some point, because he was also very sharp, but he had never said anything to stop him. Maybe he liked listening to him as well.

Seokmin was also dedicated and hardworking like no one else. He would spend hours on end practicing his lines and singing for his next performance. Minghao knew because he would often finish early and sit outside of the practice room just to hear him sing. Seokmin’s voice was beautiful. He was amazing at putting feelings and emotions into the songs, at turning himself into the character and living the story.

He didn’t like it when others saw him practice, although he knew Minghao would wait for him outside and hear him sing. He had once said that he didn’t like it when others saw his imperfect and ugly side, when he wasn’t ready to put it out in the world, when he wasn’t yet good enough. His words had filled Minghao with sorrow, who thought there was no one more beautiful than Seokmin in the world.

In such a short time, Seokmin had become Minghao’s world, and he couldn’t regret it. Seokmin was like the sun, bright and unreachable and beautiful. He was the definition of the color yellow, of happiness. Minghao had never thought of the color yellow before Seokmin, but now it was the only color that mattered to him.

* * *

The first time Minghao saw Seokmin as something other than yellow, it broke his heart. He didn’t know why he had never noticed before, but he regretted it. Seokmin hadn’t been answering his calls or messages for days, and Minghao’s heart grew heavy with worry, so he decided to visit. Seokmin’s apartment was a mess when he walked in through the unlocked door.

There were dirty clothes piled up everywhere and half-eaten meals in the kitchen. The fridge and cupboards were basically empty, like no one had gone grocery shopping in awhile. When Minghao walked into Seokmin’s room, he found the curtains drawn and the room in complete darkness. 

“Seokmin?” He asked with a shaky voice, worried sick.

The covers on the bed began to move until Seokmin’s head popped out from under the blankets. He looked exhausted, like he had slept for a hundred years but gotten no rest nonetheless. His hair was messy and dirty. His face was puffy and his expression was devoid of emotion, even when he finally noticed there was someone there.

“Myeongho…” Seokmin muttered. “Why are you here?”

“We couldn’t reach you, and I got worried…” Minghao didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to react to seeing his friend like this. 

“It’s fine,” Seokmin shook his head. “This happens sometimes, I’ll be fine. I just need some more time, and then I’ll get up again, and it’ll be fine. I just need to hold on.”

Minghao considered his words in silence. It was clear that Seokmin wasn’t fine, and it was clear it hadn’t been the first time. He felt guilty for not having noticed before. However, he couldn’t just leave now that knew. His heart had hurt because of love before, but the pain of heartbreak was far more unbearable. Seokmin didn’t deserve this.

“Have you eaten yet?” Minghao asked instead. He didn’t know what Seokmin was going through, but they could take it one step at a time.

“No, I feel really tired…” Seokmin shrugged.

“Let’s eat together.”

* * *

It wasn’t easy, but Minghao quickly found out that he didn’t care. Seokmin didn’t want to let him in at first, saying it would soon go away with the start of spring, but Minghao persisted gently. He helped clean Seokmin’s apartment and made sure he ate the appropriate amounts at the appropriate times. He couldn’t make him magically happy, but he could make sure that he made it through the day.

This repeated the next winter as well, but Minghao was still there. It turned out that he simply didn’t care that Seokmin wasn’t always yellow. Minghao still loved him when he was gray with exhaustion, blue with sadness or red with anger. He had fallen in love through the yellow of happiness, but he had _learned to love him_ through the blue of his sadness. Minghao was willing to pull himself apart if it meant that he could help Seokmin make it through the day.

It took some time before he convinced Seokmin to see a therapist. He hadn’t wanted to at first, scared of the stigma it would bring, scared of being rejected and left alone. Minghao promised him he would never leave, and when Seokmin asked why, he replied honestly. What else could he do?

“Because I love you,” Minghao said simply.

“How?” Seokmin looked a bit shocked, confused. “I’m too hard to love, how?”

“Not to me, you aren’t,” Minghao smiled. “I don’t need you to love me back, because you need to get better first, okay? I will love you without a single string attached.”

Seokmin had cried, and Minghao had hugged him through it until he had calmed down. They managed to set an appointment with a therapist the next day. Seokmin was so nervous he was holding Minghao’s hand with a bit too much strength, but he didn’t complain as they made their way to the office. He waited silently outside until the appointment was done, and he silently consoled Seokmin when they arrived home.

They were referred to a psychiatrist a couple of sessions after. Minghao accompanied him to as many sessions as possible, but when he couldn’t go he made sure to call him before and after to encourage him and console him. Things got slightly better when the diagnosis came out as Seasonal Affective Disorder and they began to work on his treatment. 

Things became a little bit easier, although it was never perfect, but they both managed to work through it. The combination of the light therapy and the pills made it a little easier for Seokmin to get by. Time went by like that and soon they had both graduated from university with their respective degrees. Minghao attended the end of the year presentation of Seokmin and brought sunflowers.

They weren’t in season, as they graduated in winter, but it was worth every single penny to see Seokmin smile as they greeted the audience after the performance. Minghao received him with open arms as Seokmin nuzzled their foreheads together, like he always did when he found Minghao to be cute. Minghao smiled, happy to see Seokmin shining through the color blue.

“Myeongho…” Seokmin called him softly as he played with the petals of the sunflowers.

“Yeah?” Minghao asked, holding Seokmin’s left hand inside his own pocket to keep them warm.

“I think I’m ready to learn to love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work, remember to leave a comment and give kudos, it keeps me going! And don’t hesitate to talk to me through my social media! I love making friends <3  
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> 


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